It’s kind of hard
to believe that student teaching is almost over and although I’m really excited
to go home to Miami and see my family, I’ve realized how much I have fallen in
love with a lot of my students, and I’m praying I don’t cry on my last day (that
would be super embarrassing). The students I have met at Connally are so
special to me and I’m sad that my journey with them can only last a season.
This has to be one of the most difficult aspects of teaching; I can’t imagine
how the goodbyes must feel year after year.
On Friday one of
the teachers at Connally asked me if I would let her class interview me as part
of a lesson they were doing on “questioning”. I agreed, and it proved to be a
very rewarding activity, for the students and myself. I didn’t realize how
intriguing my presence was for the little 9th graders at Connally,
and it brought me back to my own identity as a teacher and how my students see
me. In that conversation some of my students got to know me a little bit and I
think who I am and my perspective was really refreshing for them. I think they
realized how much I am like them in so many ways and their reaction makes me
want to be that honest with my students all of the time. For some, the fact
that I am a young Black female teacher from an “urban” inner city that makes
their environment look like one of the best suburbs in America is very
reassuring. I think they are willing to trust me more than they are some of
their other teachers. I really don’t know, but this is precisely what I’m trying
to discover. I want to know the power that I possess teaching in urban schools
because of my background, and I want to be aware of the disadvantages as well.
These questions
are what made me super excited to read hooks’ work. I’ve read her book on love
and loved her on countless documentaries, but didn’t anticipate that her ideas
would make their way to my current situation. I’m about halfway into the text
and so far, hooks is bringing me back to why I want to teach, and how teachers
can be such powerful people. She makes clear the work that needs to be done in
our field. The self-reflection, the unpacking and deconstructing of racism, are
all necessary to truly build community in a classroom. Hopefully, hooks will
give me some insight on how to capitalize on whatever advantages that may come
with me being who I am and how to cope with the disadvantages. I’m hoping that
as I get deeper into this book I’ll get a better grasp on how I see myself, and
how my students see me.
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